Cultural Etiquette: Do’s and Don’ts in Vietnam

Cultural Etiquette: Do’s and Don’ts in Vietnam

G’day, fellow travellers! Aussie Mates here. After nearly two decades of calling Vietnam home with my lovely wife Tracy, I’ve learned a thing or two about navigating the cultural landscape of this beautiful country. Vietnam isn’t just a destination; it’s an experience that rewards those who respect its customs and traditions. Today, I’m sharing some hard-earned wisdom to help you avoid those awkward cultural faux pas and embrace the local way of life.

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Understanding Vietnamese Respect Culture

Respect is the cornerstone of Vietnamese society, and it permeates every social interaction. Age hierarchy is particularly important here – something we Aussies might find a bit different from our more casual approach back home.

When Tracy and I first moved here, we quickly learned that older people are always greeted first, served first at meals, and generally given priority in social situations. It’s a beautiful aspect of Vietnamese culture that emphasizes caring for elders rather than sidelining them.

When addressing Vietnamese people, use titles before their names. For example, use “Anh” (older brother) or “Chi” (older sister) for people slightly older than you, and “Ong” (grandfather) or “Ba” (grandmother) for elderly folks. Using these titles shows respect and understanding of local customs.

Greeting Etiquette

Forget the bear hugs and back slaps that we Aussies love! In Vietnam, physical contact during greetings is minimal. Here’s what you should know:

• A slight bow with hands pressed together (similar to a prayer position) is a traditional greeting, though handshakes are becoming more common in business settings.
• Avoid hugging or kissing when meeting Vietnamese people for the first time.
• Using both hands when giving or receiving something demonstrates respect.
• Addressing someone by their full name immediately can be considered rude – wait until you’re invited to do so.

I remember when Tracy’s parents visited us in Hanoi for the first time. Her dad went in for a big hug with our Vietnamese neighbor – talk about an awkward moment! Our neighbor was gracious about it, but we could tell he was a bit uncomfortable. A simple handshake would have been perfect.

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Temple and Pagoda Etiquette

Vietnam’s spiritual sites are not just tourist attractions – they’re active places of worship deserving of proper respect. Here are some essential guidelines:

• Dress modestly – cover your shoulders, chest, and knees.
• Remove your shoes before entering temples and sacred spaces.
• Speak quietly and avoid pointing at Buddha statues or religious artifacts.
• Ask permission before taking photographs, especially of monks or nuns.
• Walk clockwise around pagodas and religious monuments as a sign of respect.

Tracy and I make it a point to visit at least one new temple whenever friends visit us from Australia. We always bring a small scarf for the ladies to cover their shoulders if needed, and lightweight trousers that can be quickly slipped on over shorts. Being prepared means you won’t miss out on these magnificent cultural experiences.

Dining Customs and Food Etiquette

Sharing meals is central to Vietnamese culture, and there are several customs to keep in mind:

• Wait for the eldest person at the table to begin eating before you start.
• Hold your rice bowl close to your chin rather than leaving it on the table.
• Never stick your chopsticks vertically into your rice – this resembles incense sticks at funerals and is considered very unlucky.
• It’s customary to offer food to others before serving yourself.
• If you’re invited to a Vietnamese home for a meal, bring a small gift like fruit, sweets, or flowers.

One of our most embarrassing moments happened during our first month in Vietnam when I stuck my chopsticks straight up in my rice bowl while taking a break to chat. The sudden awkward silence clued me in that I’d made a blunder. Lesson learned!

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Public Behavior and Gestures

Some common Australian gestures can have very different meanings in Vietnam:

• Avoid pointing with your index finger – use your whole hand instead.
• Don’t summon someone with your palm up and finger curling (as we might do in Australia) – this is how Vietnamese people call animals, not people!
• Public displays of affection are generally frowned upon, especially in rural areas.
• Keep your voice down in public – loud talking can be seen as disrespectful.
• Never touch someone’s head, as it’s considered the most sacred part of the body.

Tracy and I still occasionally catch ourselves being too “Australian” with our volume levels, especially after a few beers at a street-side restaurant. We’ve learned to read the room and adjust accordingly – there’s a time and place for our boisterous Aussie nature!

Gift-Giving Customs

Gift-giving is an art form in Vietnam, with several important considerations:

• Avoid giving handkerchiefs, anything black or dark blue, or clocks as gifts – these are associated with funerals or bad luck.
• Never give a gift in sets of four, as the word for “four” sounds similar to the word for “death” in Vietnamese.
• Present and receive gifts with both hands to show respect.
• Don’t be surprised if your gift isn’t opened immediately – Vietnamese people often open gifts in private.
• Quality fruit, good liquor, or useful household items make appropriate gifts.

When we first started making Vietnamese friends, we made the mistake of bringing a lovely clock as a housewarming gift. The polite but strained smile on our host’s face told us something was amiss before we learned about this cultural taboo. Now we stick to fruit baskets or Australian wine!

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Dress Code and Modesty

Vietnam is relatively conservative when it comes to clothing, especially outside major tourist areas:

• Cover your shoulders and knees when visiting religious sites or rural villages.
• Beach attire should be confined to beach areas only.
• Remove shoes before entering someone’s home or certain businesses.
• Dress smartly for business meetings – casual Australian business attire may be seen as too informal.

Tracy quickly learned to carry a light scarf in her bag for impromptu temple visits or when entering more traditional establishments. It’s a simple solution that shows respect for local sensibilities without compromising on comfort during Vietnam’s hot weather.

Conclusion: Respect Goes a Long Way

After nearly 20 years in Vietnam, I can tell you that making an effort to understand and respect local customs doesn’t just prevent embarrassment – it opens doors to authentic experiences and genuine connections that most tourists miss out on.

Vietnamese people are incredibly forgiving of cultural mistakes when they see you’re making an honest effort. A smile, a respectful nod, and a willingness to learn will earn you warmth and friendship throughout your travels in this magnificent country.

As Tracy and I always tell our visitors from Down Under: when in doubt, observe what the locals are doing and follow suit. Your efforts to respect Vietnamese culture won’t go unnoticed, and you’ll come away with a much richer travel experience.

Safe travels, mates, and feel free to drop me a line if you’re passing through Vietnam. Tracy and I are always up for sharing a Vietnamese coffee and more local insights!

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